Adam is a film school geek who never did anything with his degree, works for the post office, is sometimes queer, a total Scorpio and, hopefully, funny.
Reblogged from valeeetudo
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
This is so goddamn importantPlease i need this more than anything
Seriously this is all that I want when I’m down.
This is spot on. Sometimes, as much as I love you, I need waaay more reassurance and effort than other people. Simple ways to keep me happy.
Asked by Anonymous
claremont leaving x-men is my big answer, along with shitty marvel editorial in general. people tend to say it was ororo’s sudden marriage to t’challa in hudlin’s black panther run that sidelined her. and although it didn’t really help, you can actually see that waaaaay back in the early 90s, once bob harras started leaning more towards jim lee’s way instead of towards chris claremont’s way, storm - and a LOT of other claremont characters, most notably women - rapidly became less and less relevant to the x-men. cyclops and wolverine became the never ending rehashed rivalry, and storm slowly became more and more just… sort of there. occasionally she’d show up to have a monologue in that sort of high, royal way she can get, and show off some lightning powers, but the time of her actually being a completely essential core character to stories, affecting them and changing them, or them revolving around her, was over.
because claremont was gone. none of the other writers seemed to be all THAT interested in ororo after he left, or they seemed… intimidated by her. ever notice how wonder woman, when she shows up in cartoons or team books or whatever, kind of doesn’t do or say much? pretty flat personality, all in all, and other characters hog all the big moments? same deal with ororo. she’s an “iconic” x-men character, and she’s black, and a woman, and i think a lot of her status and character just scares writers the fuck off. or they go “i don’t get her” and skip it. it’s way easier to write wolverine being an angry loner (but not actually) for the millionth time, or scott having a stick up his ass about something again.
ororo feels, to me at least, like she scares a lot of writers off. she’s too “big”, too powerful, too important. or whatever. way, way, way easier to write scott and logan fighting about jean (while also notably leaving jean’s own development and agency out of it)
ororo was probably marvel’s iconic woman for the longest time but fucked if they ever leapt on the opportunity while she was at the height of her popularity. a lot of it feels like cowardice or lack of real writer creativity.
I know a lot of you already follow Colin Spacetwinks, but if you’re not convinced of his constant, spot-on analysis of comics (and his all-around spectacular humor) based off this post, you’re missing out (IMO) on the best writing I’ve seen on Tumblr. That’s not hyperbole. Spacetwinks could be running a major Marvel branch within a decade if given just one title. Need more proof? Later this yearish, Beautiful Souldier, the LGBTQ young adult superhero novel by Spacetwinks, as well as some fucking amazing Kindle erotica already on Amazon.
Worf could be on The Bachelor, but with an 0-2 record on dead wives, you might not want to audition.
Reblogged from techsgtjenn
I rarely use this to just blog. I’m going to just blog now, so you can all just ignore this if it’s not to your liking.
Warning. Contents under pressure.
"This fandom, that fandom, guess what? It doesn’t belong to you.
You don’t own it. You partake in it. It’s called community.”
In which, Greg Rucka lays the hammer down on the misogyny of geek culture.
I made cupcakes. Come over and eat them with me.
Reblogged from kirschteinandbodt
have you ever met someone on the internet that you liked so much that you sometimes sit there and think “oh man there are people who are lucky enough to see this person IN THE FLESH ON A REGULAR BASIS and I wonder if they realize how LUCKY they are”
Do you ever wonder if people think that about you?
"The Arecibo Message, as it has come to be known, was a relatively simple pictogram encoded into 1,679 binary data bits of ones and zeros. With the ones representing the image characters and the zeros blank spaces, anyone smart enough will be able to produce the message, the first ever deliberately sent by humanity to fellow intelligences in the galaxy." - Larry Klaes of the Ithaca Times